Relating is maybe the most difficult but also the most supporting for growth. Since relationships are such a strong mirror it can help us to see where we are identified.

Relationship is deeply connected with intimacy. This life seems empty and meaningless without intimacy so everybody longs for intimacy! On the other hand for most of us intimacy is also very scary, since we become totally naked and vulnerable.
This becomes very obvious in our relationships. We want to come close and meet, but it is dangerous because coming close is only possible when we put down our protections and armour. Doing that we become easy to hurt.
For relating to be constructive, something we can grow through, it is important that we can work with projections.

Zeneca the Stoic says.

“ If you believe that the other is the reason for your problems you are
totally wrong. If you see that you yourself are the reason for your trouble
you are on the right course. When you realize the no one is responsible for
the problem you are home.”

1. You cannot be in a relationship if you cannot relax and enjoy your own
   company.
2. You’d better settle with the possibility that your partner never changes
   and if the change should somehow happen it will not be because of you
   desiring it.
3. There is nothing to get in a relationship – there may be something to
   share.
4. There are no problems to be solved in a relationship – there are matters to
   dissolve.
5. The happiness you may experience in a relationship is not coming from the partner – it is arising from you own being.

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